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Sami Muirhead is this week plagued by First World problems – someone is stealing all the cheese and puffer jackets are impossible to wash.

Opinion

Bad news week

Sami Muirhead is this week plagued by First World problems – someone is stealing all the cheese and puffer jackets are impossible to wash.

Three things annoyed me in the news this week. When I say ‘news’, I do speak of what I find important in my shallow little bubble of a world that has zip to do with the grand scale of the globe involving petty politics or dire current events.

News item number one that made me feel irrational anger and outrage was a story about a $6 cheese from Aldi that has us all acting like crazy ladies – the Le Pave Cheese (it is French for crack cocaine and is creamy goodness). Apparently it is tastier than fancier fromages that cost more than three times the price, but it is impossible to nab it because some cheese hog is hoarding it and keeping it all to him or herself.

News item number two involves washing instructions for puffer jackets. If you are anything like our family we live in our feather-filled coats from Cotton On over winter. Those coats are more like little suits of armour and have been more present in my children’s daily lives than I have. They act as wind breaker/a pillow/comfort provider/a raincoat and all is right with the world if my kids have their puffer coats on. What is not right is what they stuff into their pockets, which ranges from sticky jellybeans to rocks.

Therefore I have avoided washing the little army of jackets in our house in the fear they may turn into soggy and sad relics of what they were.

But I mustered up some energy and stopped eating Tim Tams long enough to check on the correct way to wash your puffer jacket. It is not for the faint-hearted. The online instructions state you should soak your down jacket for up to 60 minutes in some special organic, non-toxic, non-allergic detergent that costs about two weeks of your salary. The instructions then specify to “lightly squeeze out excess water and under no circumstances wring it as you will risk damaging the feathers”.

And the part that really made me mad is the final few steps of patting the jacket after you lie it flat to dry before “fluffing it every few hours” for 24 hours. The final step of the ridiculous process involves putting it in the dryer with tennis balls, people. I am so confused. Needless to say, I just threw the jackets over the balcony to ‘air’.

And the news item number three that had my blood boiling is a new list of baby names that came out this week. The most unpopular baby names of 2018 have been revealed. The least popular boys names are Gary, Gareth and Norman. Sincere apologies if your name is on the list. According to Netmums, the year’s least popular baby names for girls are Annette, Elaine and Linda. Growing up, Linda Carter was my idol and all I wanted was to have an invisible jet and cool hair the same as Wonder Woman.

How has this travesty come to be, that in four decades the coolest woman on the planet has a moniker that is being shunned? Well, not all is lost.  Carter is on the list for the most popular boy names. Sanity prevails.

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Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami tune into Mix FM.

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