Hard to believe the first month of this New Year is done and dusted and with that I’m horrified to find that after re-setting my personal swear jar on Dec 31 it’s already at $317. To be fair though, we have done a 2 and a half week Widdicombe family road trip in that time, so to be fair, in reality it should be double that figure!
Good news for me is I read recently that people who use a lot of swearwords tend to be more honest and trustworthy than others and that swearing improves your health and in some cases helps you live longer. No s*&t! At the rate I’m dropping F-bombs, I’ll live to be as old as Yoda from Star Wars.
Having said that, I’ve returned to work this year in worse shape than Craig McLachlan’s career. Guess what I got for Christmas? Fat! No really, I put on 6 extra kegs over the holidays. Fair dinkum I’m a bit of a fatty boombar at the moment. No really, let’s not sugar coat it or I’ll eat that too. People say “time to get in shape mate” but as I’ve said plenty of times before, round is a shape people.
Even yesterday I skipped the gym like a loser, but interestingly the “drive thru take your order guy” at Kentucky Fried Chicken was called Jim, so I figure that’s close enough. Actually his name’s James but we’re pretty close, I’ve been seeing him on and off for about 18 months now, so I call him Jim.
Hey, it’s important to get the mind in shape too and I’m searching for my soul mate to make me happy. Pretty sure my soul mate is potato and gravy. So as far as the gym thing goes, I’ll go tomorrow. Yep, you heard it first right here, I’ll go tomorrow and do the full workout thing with the machiney what’s it and the lifty thing and hey great, it’s leg day tomorrow so, you know I’ll be…arr who am I kidding. I’m not going. I know you thought I was going but I’m not. I’ll miss the gym again tomorrow and that’ll be like the…8th year in a row.
In lying to you I’m just lying to myself. You know there’s only one thing I hate more than lying and that’s skim milk. Skim milk is just water lying about being milk. I know right? Oh there is another thing I hate more than lying and that’s the word “unsalted”. But that’s a convo for another day.
At some point I’ll have to do something about dropping the kegs I’m Kokoda bound in April and look I know getting fit is awesome, but have you tried a Zinger stacker combo?
Lucky for me there’s a tops little brew to quench my thirst on my return from working out like a madman and that’s the Mornington IPA, a cracking American hopped India pale Ale fresh from the Mornington Peninsula Brewery in VIC.
This bad boy is a heavily hopped brew, light orange amber in colour and delivering rich fruity aromas like peach and apricot with a sweet malty taste that expands with a hint of caramel and spice and even a wiff of fresh bread too. There’s a satisfying bitterness at the end that makes for pretty easy drinking guaranteed you’ll be looking around for anothery straight up. I give the Mornington IPA a well deserved 3.5 out of 5 thumbs up. While you’re at it check out the Mornington Pale, it’s a belter!