So I’m turning 43 in a couple of months and I’ve realised more so now than ever that things just ain’t what they used to be.
When I log onto FB these days instead of being bombarded by ads suggesting “hot singles in your area want to see pictures of you naked” I’m receiving junk like “old ladies in your area want to see pictures of how tall you’ve gotten”.
My wife Michelle rushed into the room the other night and said “did you just vomit?” and I was like “no that’s just the sound I make now when I go from sitting to standing”.
I thought middle age was where you finally got your schtick together, but no sooner have you got your head together than your body starts to fall apart!
In the old days if someone said “describe your sex life with a band name” I’d have been proud to say Mental as Anything or Bare Naked Ladies or Joy Division or even Savage Garden. These days the response to the question wouldn’t be as sexy.
“Hey Todd describe your sex life with a band name.”
Ummm, Dire Straits. Cold Chisel. Slim Dusty is probs closer to the truth. Oh hang on. Wait a minute, I got it. Meatloaf. Because he hasn’t performed in years and the last time he did, it was very disappointing.
You know you’re getting old when all of your injuries aren’t sport related but they’re because you “slept funny” last night.
Michelle and I saw the new Fifty Shades movie and while the main characters were going for it all I could think was, ‘Man that looks like a comfy bed’. Hello!?
I saw a group of attractive young ladies in very skimpy togs at Currimundi Lake last weekend and my first thought was, ‘Geez, I hope they’re wearing sunscreen’. Arrrggghhh!!
The fact is I’m so old, I can remember getting through an entire day without taking a photo of anything. Ancient, right!?
One thing I can be sure of is I’m not too old and crusty to enjoy a solid beer, although this week’s tasty beverage does lean towards a more mature palate.
Maleny’s Brouhaha Brewery has created an exemplary range of brews. I’m a big fan of the NZ Pale Ale but this week I’ve tucked into the Brouhaha Milk Stout.
Now traditionally I’d swerve a stout like Barnaby Joyce swerves protection, but this little number is tops.
The Milk Stout pours a deep caramel colour and has a real smoky, malty aroma about it with a smooth tasty body that perfectly balances out with a clean sweet finish.
Sure, I couldn’t drink 10 of these delicious treats, but this is the best easy-drinking stout I’ve tried maybe ever and stout fans will absolutely love its freshness.
Love that it’s made by locals, for locals. I give the Brouhaha Milk Stout 3.5 out of five thumbs up.
BROUHAHA BREWERY MILK STOUT
Available at Cellarbrations Wises Road, Buderim and Cellarbrations Parklands.